Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
🎩✨🏠 "Can you imagine having a magician as a housemate and not even knowing it? Talk about disappearing acts in plain sight! Guess that's why the rent is always vanishing… 😉🏡"

good, house, humor, illusion, know, living, magic, magician, mystery, never, secret, surprise, unexpected

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

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4 months ago

arrival, competition, game, humor, paper, rock, scissors
My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

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2 months ago

bet, care, dental, dental hygienist, dentist, dentist visit, grooming, guys, hair, humor, hygienist, i, nose, nose hair, personal, personal care, thinking, visit
To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

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2 months ago

annoyance, confrontation, humor, patience, person, place, queue, revenge, theft
Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

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2 months ago

ask, awkward, awkward moment, conversation, date, dating, finds, guy, humor, husband, irony, me, moment, myself, questions, relationship
Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

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2 months ago

activity, animals, animals riding, before, horses, humor, just, ok, realization, ride, riding, thinking
Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

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2 months ago

brand, day, excited, humor, ignoring, new, positivity, problem, problems, procrastination, super

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Reddit this month:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

84 shares on WeChat this month:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

84 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

37 shares on X this month:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Just shared via Reddit:

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Shared recently on Twitch:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Shared recently on Discord:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨