Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
🎩✨🏠 "Can you imagine having a magician as a housemate and not even knowing it? Talk about disappearing acts in plain sight! Guess that's why the rent is always vanishing… 😉🏡"

good, house, humor, illusion, know, living, magic, magician, mystery, never, secret, surprise, unexpected

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

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2 months ago

choice, drama, dramatic, empowerment, exit, finale, humor, independence, leave, Netflix, option, relationship, season, self-respect, treat
Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

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2 months ago

good, health, humor, Ka-Ching, mental, mental health, money, saying, sign, signs, therapist, therapy, wealth
Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

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3 months ago

asking, communication, cool, ever, humor, reassurance, relationship, sex, unsolicited, unsolicited reassurance
French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

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2 months ago

analogy, food, french, french fry, fry, give, humor, joke, lifeboat, never, scarcity, snack, Titanic
If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

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3 months ago

barking, behavior, dog, gold, gold medal, humor, medal, nothing, Olympic, Olympic sport, pet, pet behavior, sport, win
Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

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2 months ago

commitment, depends, dining, drive-thru, fast, fast food, food, humor, just, restaurant, task

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

14 shares on Discord this month:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

91 shares on Twitch this month:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

66 shares on Discord this month:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Making waves on WeChat:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Making waves on Threads:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Going bananas on WeChat:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨