Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Hang in there, it gets worse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,377

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Trending via Snapchat:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Just shared via Messenger:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Making waves on Twitch:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Going viral on Threads:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Making waves on Telegram:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Live now on WhatsApp:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Making waves on YouTube:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Just landed via Reddit:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'm the top hit of the year! Time to drop my debut album: Greatest Hits of Procrastination. 🎶😄📅

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

28 shares on Discord this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

66 shares on Slack this month:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

80 shares on Discord this month:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,390

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Just landed via Discord:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Spotted on Discord:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Making waves on Twitch:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Going viral on WeChat:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴