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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,231

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Live now on Snapchat:

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

Just landed via Messenger:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Freshly posted on X:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Trending via Instagram:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

Just shared via Reddit:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Freshly posted on X:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture! 🥨😌🪑

addicted, addiction, bad, bad posture, body, body health, comfort, comfortable, give, health, humor, posture, scoliosis, why, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

0

2 months ago

bad, criticism, divine, God, humor, irony, life, perspective, self-reflection
I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

0

2 months ago

70s, back, days, exist, existence, humor, i, miss, nostalgia, old, past, time
Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

0

2 months ago

fun, games, grip, home, lose, reality, remote, remote work, telecommuting, work
Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

0

2 months ago

always, avoidance, high, high school, humor, ID, me, nostalgia, reunion, saw, school, seen, someone, year’s
Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, chuck, Chuck Norris, driving, driving test, foot, humor, joke, legend, norris, skills, test
Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

0

2 months ago

call, concept, dollars, duty, government, jury, just, murder, need, solve, wants, whenever, wild, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

53 shares on X this month:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Just landed via Instagram:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Just landed via X:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Going viral on Twitch:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨