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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

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New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,373

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Seen just now on TikTok:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Making waves on Reddit:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Making waves on Reddit:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Seen just now on Messenger:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Trending via Instagram:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

1 month ago

Witty quote about ADHD highlighting talent versus everyday tasks, humorous and playful tone.

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Commentary:
Master of random skills, professional procrastinator extraordinaire! 🤹‍♂️🧘‍♂️📅💥

ability, absolutely, ADHD, anything, being, good, humor, irony, life, live, necessity, need, pretty, skill, struggle, talent, terrible, want

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Threads this month:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

94 shares on X this month:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

This simulation is no longer boring, since they replaced management.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Spotted on WeChat:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Just shared via Slack:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Live now on Discord:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

Shared recently on Threads:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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