An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

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I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

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The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

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The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

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Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

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My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

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If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

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I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

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Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

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Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

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You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.