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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Jan 6, 2026

3,575

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Making waves on TikTok:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

Just landed via Reddit:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Trending via WeChat:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Going bananas on Slack:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Spotted on Threads:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Live now on YouTube:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

2 months ago

0

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
💸 "Ah, financial stability, that slippery fellow who always seems to be playing hide and seek! Is it in the room with us or off having a coffee break? 🕵️‍♂️☕️ Let's hope it decides to stick around for a while and bring some of its wealthy friends along too! 💼💰 #WhereArtThouFinancialStability"

awkward, awkward situation, conversation, financial, financial stability, humor, joke, money, right, room, situation, stability, us

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

0

2 months ago

battery, chaos, Christmas, family, forgetting, hell, humor, i, morning, sound, still, toys
Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

0

3 months ago

able, clothing, fall, fashion, frustration, got, heat, hot, hot weather, humor, i, long-sleeve, long-sleeve shirt, mismatch, new, sad, seasonal, seasonal frustration, shirt, sorry, temperature, wear, weather, weather mismatch
It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

0

2 months ago

advice, bad, bad decision, decision, decisions, early, early start, humor, life, life advice, making, never, procrastination, start, too
Hawk o the mornin tuah

0

2 months ago

greeting, hawk, humor, mornin, morning, play, play on words, Tuah, wordplay, words
Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

0

2 months ago

activity, crime, digital, digital footprint, explain, footprint, funny idea, history, humor, idea, online, online activity, podcast, search, search history, thinking, true, true crime
People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

0

2 months ago

buddy, children, children names, dog, dog names, family, humor, kids, name, names, naming, people, pet, pet naming, rocket, steve

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Instagram this month:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

14 shares on X this month:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

73 shares on X this month:

Love is in the air fryer.

21 shares on X this month:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,698

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Just shared via Slack:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Just shared via Instagram:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

Trending via WeChat:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

Going viral on WeChat:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Spotted on Discord:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

Making waves on WeChat:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Live now on Messenger:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

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