Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Live now on Discord:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Making waves on Facebook:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Making waves on Pinterest:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Live now on Messenger:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Live now on Instagram:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

1 month ago

Humorous text about parenting and digital chaos with open Safari tabs.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Inheritance goals: ensuring my kids never run out of "What was I even looking at?" moments. 🧑‍💻📑💻

children, humor, i, inheritance, internet, leave, multitasking, open, open tab, Safari, tab, tabs

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Facebook this month:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Just shared via Slack:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Making waves on Discord:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Going viral on Twitch:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Trending via Facebook:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Just shared via X:

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨