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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,617

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Just landed via Discord:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Spotted on Instagram:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Going viral on Instagram:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Seen just now on Twitch:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Making waves on Reddit:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Making waves on YouTube:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

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Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?
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Commentary:
Multitasking level: expert 🦷🚿😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Instagram this month:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

18 shares on Slack this month:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

19 shares on Threads this month:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

17 shares on Discord this month:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

91 shares on Slack this month:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,268

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Just shared via Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Breaking via Discord:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Freshly posted on X:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Trending via Facebook:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Just shared via Reddit:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

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