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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,878

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Live now on Snapchat:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Just shared via Instagram:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Going viral on Discord:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Making waves on Reddit:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Apple juice: the introverted cousin at the fruit cocktail party 🍎🍹😄

alcohol, apple, apple juice, drink, fruit, fruit juice, humor, juice, shy, taste, too, wants

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

1 month ago
able, barista, everyday, everyday life, Google, i, information, life, media, normal, normal people, people, should, social, social media, technology, Wikipedia
Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

1 month ago
animals, awkward, bison, distance, friend, friends, friendship, humor, keep, nature, want, wildlife
If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

1 month ago
bit, cuisine, culinary, dining, food, humor, i, recommend, sarcasm, something, sophisticated, tired, try, want, wit
I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

2 months ago
C, calculator, CE, clear, confusion, humor, i, math, mistakes, technology, times
When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

1 day ago
5, 8, 9, actually, commute, hours, humor, job, management, realize, teleport, teleportation, time, time management, work, work hours
What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

1 month ago
boat, entertainment, humor, joke, movie, name, Titanic, trivia

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Just shared via Twitch:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Trending via Threads:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Live now on Threads:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Spotted on YouTube:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Making waves on X:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Shared recently on Slack:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

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Activity Log ✨

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

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Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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