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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,645

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Just landed via Messenger:

Life is weird and then you die.

Making waves on Reddit:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Just landed via Snapchat:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Live now on X:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Seen just now on X:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Shared recently on X:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Going viral on Facebook:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

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As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🧹 Ah, the classic dilemma of decluttering: saying goodbye to all those freebies you were so convinced you absolutely needed at the time! 🤦‍♂️ Who knew those event giveaways would multiply faster than bunnies in spring? 🐰 Pro tip: before you know it, they'll multiply totes, shirts, and all! 🛍️ Letting go is tough, but a tidier room is totally worth it! 🌟 #

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on YouTube this month:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

16 shares on YouTube this month:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

58 shares on Threads this month:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

18 shares on Slack this month:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

45 shares on TikTok this month:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

88 shares on Threads this month:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,716

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

I can’t be the only one who screenshots confirmations, even though you’ll get an email and text.

Just landed via X:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Going bananas on Slack:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Shared recently on Slack:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

Just shared via Instagram:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Just shared via Threads:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

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