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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

37 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Just landed via Threads:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Seen just now on Instagram:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Trending via Telegram:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Reported on TikTok:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Just landed via Facebook:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Making waves on TikTok:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

5 months ago

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

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Commentary:
🧹 Ah, the classic dilemma of decluttering: saying goodbye to all those freebies you were so convinced you absolutely needed at the time! 🤦‍♂️ Who knew those event giveaways would multiply faster than bunnies in spring? 🐰 Pro tip: before you know it, they'll multiply totes, shirts, and all! 🛍️ Letting go is tough, but a tidier room is totally worth it! 🌟 #

actually, bag, cleaning, decluttering, event, free, free t-shirt, friendly, humor, items, need, reminder, room, t-shirt, tote, tote bag, unnecessary, unnecessary items

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

37 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

Just shared via Threads:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Live now on Messenger:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Seen just now on Slack:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Just landed via YouTube:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Just landed via Instagram:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

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