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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Just landed via Facebook:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Freshly posted on X:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

Seen just now on Threads:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Freshly posted on X:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Just landed via TikTok:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

3 weeks ago

Witty text about pretending to be busy to avoid a coworker’s personal chat.

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Commentary:
Dodging drama like a professional ninja while perfecting my 'busy bee' impression 🐝🙅‍♂️🤫

acting, avoiding, avoiding talk, busy, conversation, coworker, i, life, personal, personal life, something, talk, tell, today, wants, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Twitch this month:

I overthink, therefore I am.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Going viral on Twitch:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Trending via Facebook:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Freshly posted on Slack:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Spotted on X:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Freshly posted on Discord:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Just shared via Messenger:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

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Activity Log ✨

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨