Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.