Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Live now on WhatsApp:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Making waves on Threads:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Just shared via TikTok:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Trending via Slack:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Going viral on TikTok:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Just shared via X:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

0
Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"If revenge is a dish best served cold, then making their videos buffer at the climax is a sub-zero level of petty ❄️😂 Stay frosty, my friends! #PettyGoals"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Messenger this month:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

86 shares on Threads this month:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

80 shares on Slack this month:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

18 shares on Discord this month:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I have to stand in the shower about this.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Breaking via X:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Spotted on Reddit:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Shared recently on Threads:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Shared recently on Slack:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Spotted on Twitch:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Just landed via Facebook:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴