Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
When your body is ready to doze off but your brain suddenly becomes a 24/7 idea factory 🤯💭 Good luck trying to count sheep with that much brainpower on overdrive! 😂🐑 #SleeplessInBrain-lanta

asleep, billion, body, brain, fall, humor, insomnia, interesting, night, overthinking, six, sleep, thought, thoughts, time

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Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

31 shares on Discord this month:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

33 shares on X this month:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

35 shares on Threads this month:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Breaking via YouTube:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Going viral on Instagram:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Making waves on X:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Just shared via YouTube:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Just landed via WeChat:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨