Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,524

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Breaking via Instagram:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Shared recently on Twitch:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Making waves on X:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Shared recently on X:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Broadcasted on Discord:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wish I could order one on Amazon Prime—same-day delivery, please! 🧠📦😂

awesome, brain, brains, humor, i, intelligence, sarcasm, self-deprecation, wish, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

0

2 months ago

across, ask, driving, Google, Google Maps, humor, left, left turn, maps, navigation, needs, oncoming, oncoming traffic, safety, setting, take, traffic, turn, where
I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

0

2 months ago

consciousnes, existential, humor, nervous, nervous system, self-identity, system, wit
The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

0

2 months ago

child, drum, drum solo, flight, hours, humor, LA, longest, me, minutes, music, performance, sitting, solo, Tokyo, travel
Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

0

2 months ago

being, humor, i, job, just, kindness, paid, payment, sarcasm, sweetheart, wish
My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

0

5 months ago

doing, doing nothing, favourite, humor, lay, laziness, nothing, pose, relaxation, still, stillness, where, yoga, yoga pose
Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

0

2 months ago

Earth, everyone, humor, i, know, live, living, media, need, people, posting, privacy, social, social media, stop, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Instagram this month:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

51 shares on Discord this month:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Spotted on Snapchat:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Seen just now on Slack:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Live now on Pinterest:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

Trending via TikTok:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨