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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,265

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Freshly posted on X:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Going viral on Telegram:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Shared recently on X:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Just landed via Messenger:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Seen just now on TikTok:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Trending via Reddit:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

21 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a geographical journey through the Whimsical Kingdom! 😂🇬🇧🏰

born, British, British culture, chest, culture, hair, ham, humor, i, man, moved, name, people, place, place name, pun, stall, stereotype, university, woke, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

0

2 months ago

best, Google, Googling, humor, i, Italy, money, time, timing, travel, vacation, visit
At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, breaks, humor, i, life, nap, pee, sleep
That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

0

2 months ago

bestie, friendship, girl, humor, platonic, relationship, wife
I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

0

2 months ago

diet, eating, food, hand, hire, humor, i, just, need, slap, someone
Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

0

2 months ago

comedy, dream, dreams, humor, i, repeat, rerun, sleep, subconscious
A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

0

2 months ago

clever, clever man, closet, clothes, fit, humor, jealousy, man, other man, relationship, wife’s, wife’s closet

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on YouTube this month:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

86 shares on Threads this month:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

25 shares on Instagram this month:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Trending via Messenger:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Just shared via Telegram:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Going viral on Threads:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Making waves on Instagram:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Going viral on Threads:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Breaking via Reddit:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Seen just now on X:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨