Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs New Year's resolutions when you have spring rolls to look forward to? 🍣 Time to chase away the winter blues with some delicious rolls! 💪😋"

change, diet, diet joke, fat, food, food humor, food transformation, humor, joke, rolls, seasonal, seasonal change, spring, spring rolls, transformation, wait, weight, weight joke, winter, winter fat

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

0

2 months ago

calling, dating, humor, love, rejection, relationship, sarcasm, situation, situationship, time, unrequited, unrequited love, want, whole
I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

0

2 weeks ago

able, complaint, eat, eating, food, huge, humor, hunger, i, meal, month, shit, should, snake, sucks
It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

0

2 months ago

Caesar, caesar salad, cooking, eat, food, food humor, funny food, humor, joke, salad, stab, times
“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

0

2 months ago

dark, dark humor, frustration, health, humor, just, live, mental, mental health, password, resilience, sarcasm, too, wait
Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

0

2 months ago

brain, brain damage, butterfly, damage, disappointment, give, humor, just, me, nobody, relationship, sarcasm
I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

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3 weeks ago

adult, am, antidepressant, doing, eating, floss, flossing, going, here, humor, i, idiot, irony, just, laundry, little, responsibility, salad, self-care, taking, teeth, walk, walks, want, whatever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

15 shares on Threads this month:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

73 shares on Threads this month:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

94 shares on Slack this month:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

91 shares on Threads this month:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Trending via Telegram:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Just landed via Twitch:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Just landed via Messenger:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Seen just now on WeChat:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Trending via WeChat:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨