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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,945

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Seen just now on Slack:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Just landed via Instagram:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Trending via Messenger:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why not? I promise to return the flux capacitor on time 😜🔄🚗💨

20, again, age, birthday, humor, i, know, nostalgia, reflection, regret, time, wisdom, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

1 month ago
columns, confusion, data, difference, frustration, geek, geek humor, hate, humor, i, man, math, me, much, nothing, office, office humor, rows, tables
They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

1 month ago
couple, duration, fun, humor, invention, minutes, relaxation, short, short duration, should, Sunday, time, weekend, wish
Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

1 month ago
annoyance, call, humor, ignore, ignoring, longer, phone, ring, technology, why
My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

1 month ago
annoying, annoying habit, communication, habit, habits, humor, husband, me, offended, offense, PowerPoint, presentation, relationship
That stupid look on my face is my face.

1 month ago
expression, face, humor, sarcastic, self-deprecation, stupid
Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

1 month ago
college, every, except, group, group project, humor, people, person, project, sarcasm, single, smart, smarter, student, teamwork, three, welcome, where

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Spotted on Slack:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Trending via Facebook:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

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Activity Log ✨

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

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Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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