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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Guy who thinks “generational trauma” means it’s like the goat of trauma.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Leaving my apartment for two weeks, but leaving a single cup in the sink as a gesture to continuity upon my return.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,566

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

This Monday could have been an email.

Going viral on Discord:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Going viral on X:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Live now on Pinterest:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

1 month ago

Playful quote about sudden career anxiety strikes at any hour of the day.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Relatable! Because who doesn't love a surprise visit from the anxiety fairy at 3 p.m. 🧚‍♀️🔔😅

anxiety, career, day, health, hitting, hour, hours, mental, mental health, random, random hour, stress, work, work worry, worry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

73 shares on Threads this month:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

68 shares on Threads this month:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

12 shares on Threads this month:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

18 shares on Messenger this month:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

51 shares on Discord this month:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

64 shares on Threads this month:

Playing dead when a cop pulls me over.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Another day of meaningless suffering. Let’s see what awaits us tomorrow.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Just shared via Facebook:

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Seen just now on Slack:

Cool times create cool guys.

Going viral on Twitch:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨