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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,816

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Trending via TikTok:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Shared recently on Facebook:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Watch out! My skill with a blade is only matched by my love for Shakira! 🎶⚔️😂"

careful, confrontation, danger, draw, fast, friend, humor, i, just, sarcasm, Shakira, threat, weapon, word

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

2 months ago
bathroom, every, going, humor, i, Jim, John, morning, pun, say, start, wordplay
Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

1 month ago
adventure, after, buying, expense, expensive, humor, journey, less, nav, road, sat, sat nav, travel
At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

1 month ago
back, day, filter, holding, humor, inappropriate, inappropriate thought, least, mental, mental filter, self-control, spent, struggle, thought, thoughts
Might quit my job to focus on summer.

1 month ago
activity, decision, focus, fun, fun activity, humor, job, leisure, quit, quitting, summer
I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

1 month ago
accident, accidentally, background, digital, digital life, funny habit, habit, humor, i, least, life, once, phone, screenshot, take, tech, tech humor, week, weekly
The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

2 months ago
contemplation, humor, i, jury, legal, myself, question, self-reflection, think

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Just shared via Reddit:

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Just shared via Reddit:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Shared recently on X:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Spotted on Facebook:

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

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Activity Log ✨

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

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Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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