Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,543

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Going viral on Instagram:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Making waves on Discord:

I disagree with my politics.

Spotted on YouTube:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Going viral on Messenger:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Watch out! My skill with a blade is only matched by my love for Shakira! 🎶⚔️😂"

careful, confrontation, danger, draw, fast, friend, humor, i, just, sarcasm, Shakira, threat, weapon, word

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

0

2 months ago

getting, hot, hotter, i, inform, just, plan, regret, weird
Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

0

2 months ago

blocked, dating, dorito, humor, me, neato, pringle, quirkiness, relationship, single, someone
Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

0

2 months ago

Facebook, friends, gatherings, high, high school, media, neverending, nostalgia, relationships, reunion, school, social, social media
Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

0

3 months ago

accidentally, care, feel, gel, humor, i, identity, lying, men, mistake, myself, personal, personal care, reason, shower, shower gel, today, used
It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

0

5 months ago

behavior, death, die, every, going, humanity, irony, kindness, mortality, nicer, single, social, social behavior, us, weird
When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, day, feel, humor, image, observation, shopping, thinnest, through, time, walk, Walmart, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Reddit this month:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

90 shares on Slack this month:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Making waves on Slack:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨