Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,766

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Trending via Messenger:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Trending via Reddit:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

3 weeks ago

Witty warning about friendship and sharp humor, playful and slightly threatening in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Watch out! My skill with a blade is only matched by my love for Shakira! 🎶⚔️😂"

careful, confrontation, danger, draw, fast, friend, humor, i, just, sarcasm, Shakira, threat, weapon, word

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

72 shares on Discord this month:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

28 shares on Discord this month:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

38 shares on Slack this month:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

95 shares on Discord this month:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Trending via Instagram:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Just landed via TikTok:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Just shared via Reddit:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Spotted on Slack:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Just shared via Messenger:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Breaking via Twitch:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Keep the laugh going 😂

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨