Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,657

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Going viral on Discord:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Just shared via Twitch:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Going viral on WeChat:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Just landed via Threads:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

Spotted on WeChat:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to avoid ghosts of bad WiFi past! 📱🔦😂

analogy, carrying, daily, daily life, habit, humor, lantern, life, modern, modern habit, phone, room, technology, Victorian, Victorian woman, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

2 months ago

chores, dishwasher, domestic, domestic life, humor, i, job, just, life, marriage, responsibility, right, wife
Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

2 months ago

comparison, confidence, Fiji, Fiji water, humor, let, pond, pond water, positivity, self-worth, treat, water
The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

2 months ago

day, every, game, getting, horror, house, i, leaving, only, play, survival
I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

2 months ago

activity, comfort, comfort zone, end, funny activity, humor, i, limits, myself, push, pushing, pushing limits, relaxation, self-improvement, sitting, sofa, zone
All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

2 months ago

big, burger, fast, fast food, food, height, humor, opinion, restaurant, saying, should, taller, width
When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

2 months ago

brain, brain training, exercise, gym, humor, invention, labor, mind, need, optional, physical, physical labor, same, thing, training, well, workout

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

79 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

13 shares on X this month:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Just landed via X:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Just shared via Threads:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

Going viral on Instagram:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

Seen just now on Telegram:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Going viral on Threads:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨