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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,620

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Making waves on Instagram:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Shared recently on WeChat:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Making waves on Messenger:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Just landed via YouTube:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Shared recently on Discord:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Just landed via Threads:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

6 days ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about self-awareness with a humorous Shrek pun.

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Commentary:
Turning green with laughter! 😂🟢

before, check, check yourself, culture, humor, meme, movie, movie quote, pop, pop culture, pun, Shrek, yourself

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61 shares on Discord this month:

Luckily, I realized that all this love I want to pour into someone else was actually meant for me.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

89 shares on Slack this month:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

71 shares on Twitch this month:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Going viral on Threads:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Making waves on Snapchat:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Going viral on Instagram:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Spreading quickly via X:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Just landed via Messenger:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Spotted on Pinterest:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Live now on TikTok:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

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Activity Log ✨

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨