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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Just shared via Reddit:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Shared recently on X:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Just landed via Threads:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Seen just now on YouTube:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Seen just now on Messenger:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, Cinderella, sweetie, your standards were lower than her glass slipper size! 🙈 Talk about a prince who needs to get his memory checked! Maybe next time, Cinderella should swipe left on the forgetful ones! 👸🏼🤦🏻‍♂️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Discord this month:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

25 shares on Slack this month:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

39 shares on X this month:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

55 shares on X this month:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

72 shares on Slack this month:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

An electric car is just another electric chair.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,548

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Do vape shops and nail salons actually make money, or is my town’s economy one big laundering scheme?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Going viral on YouTube:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Live now on Discord:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Breaking via Pinterest:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Shared recently on X:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

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