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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,758

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Live now on Twitch:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Making waves on Telegram:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Going viral on Facebook:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Going bananas on Facebook:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Spotted on YouTube:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Making waves on Telegram:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Spotted on X:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Trending via Threads:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Funny quote about dating mishaps and self-respect with playful, witty tone.
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Commentary:
Oh, Cinderella, sweetie, your standards were lower than her glass slipper size! 🙈 Talk about a prince who needs to get his memory checked! Maybe next time, Cinderella should swipe left on the forgetful ones! 👸🏼🤦🏻‍♂️

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Telegram this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

37 shares on X this month:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Staring at your phone is a great way to miss a few years of your life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,462

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Making waves on YouTube:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Just landed via WeChat:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

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