Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,306

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Just shared via Discord:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Going bananas on Discord:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Live now on WeChat:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Just landed via WeChat:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like I need a raise in divine intervention! 💸😇

addiction, cocaine, drug, gods, humor, money, much, telling, too, wealth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, before, box, feed, footwear, humor, i, joke, just, never, new, over, sh, vegan
My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

0

2 months ago

door, front, front door, home, home security, humor, joke, just, money, paycheck, security, system
When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, hope, humor, i, skills, tracking, well, well-being, witty
Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

0

2 months ago

aging, beach, falling, film, humor, irony, love, movie, old, only, romance
I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

0

2 months ago

arguing, awkwardness, communication, date, end, flirting, humor, i, relationship, skills, social, social skills
Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

0

2 months ago

engagement, fun, humor, irony, LinkedIn, media, notification, social, social media, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

22 shares on Discord this month:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

20 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Just shared via Twitch:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Spotted on Messenger:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨