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Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Just shared via Instagram:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Just shared via YouTube:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Just shared via TikTok:

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Spreading quickly via X:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Playful jab about AI with a humorous comment on a baby's Instagram post.

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Commentary:
Just when you thought AI couldn't predict the future, it's already labeling babies as future tech geniuses! 🤖👶😂

acquaintance, AI, awkward, awkward interaction, baby, comment, high, high school, humor, Instagram, interaction, media, newborn, post, school, social, social media

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Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

22 shares on X this month:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

56 shares on Discord this month:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Just shared via X:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Just shared via Twitch:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

Making waves on WeChat:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

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Activity Log ✨

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨