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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,513

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Trending via Facebook:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Going viral on WeChat:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Trending via Threads:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Live now on Messenger:

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Spotted on Instagram:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Spotted on Slack:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Haha, true! If you're on top, comparison is just a friendly nudge to stay awesome! 😎🏆😂

arrogance, better, comparison, confidence, else, everyone, humor, humor quote, joy, sarcasm, self-esteem, thief, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

0

2 weeks ago

cleverness, comeback, humor, insult, insults, intelligence, intelligent, later, looking, realize, roast, sarcasm, thoughts, three, wit
Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

0

2 months ago

advice, battle, empathy, everyone, fighting, humor, interaction, know, meet, nothing, sarcasm, saying, social, social interaction, tired, understanding, worse
My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

0

2 months ago

activity, annoying, beautiful, Christmas, fun, fun activity, music, parenting, son, songs, things, trumpet
Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

0

2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, combo, drink, humor, morning, perfect
I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

0

2 months ago

control, disappointment, even, humor, i, remote, remote control, sad, universal, universal remote, universe
Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

0

2 months ago

box, chocolate, comparison, expectation, expensive, humor, i, life

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

34 shares on Slack this month:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

90 shares on YouTube this month:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

10 shares on Slack this month:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

40 shares on Slack this month:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Seen just now on Slack:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Trending via Snapchat:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Breaking via Telegram:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Going viral on Telegram:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Making waves on Reddit:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨