Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,040

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Broadcasted on Threads:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Making waves on X:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Trending via Pinterest:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Breaking via YouTube:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Making waves on Pinterest:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Just shared via Reddit:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my social life—suddenly I'm surrounded by squirrels instead of humans! 🐿️🌳😄

activity, animals, appear, cool, experience, fun, hanging, hanging out, happen, just, lot, nature, outdoor, outdoor activity, outdoor experience, outdoor fun, outside, start, stuff, things, wildlife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

0

2 months ago

activity, adventure, advice, anyone, experience, exploration, fun, fun activity, getting, good, just, new, new experience, places, recommend, recommendation, sightseeing, somebody, travel, visiting
Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

0

2 months ago

exercise, fitness, fitness talk, hear, humor, motivation, talk, treadmill, wants, workout
Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

0

2 months ago

achievement, class, eye, eye roll, graduation, humor, parenting, roll, sarcasm, top, tween, university
Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

0

2 months ago

exclusivity, friends, friendship, heart, humor, hurt, hurts, me, monogamous, relationship, talk
HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

0

2 months ago

boss, complete, forget, hr, last, later, survey, team
Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

0

2 months ago

Batman, dating, humor, i, irony, relationship, single, superhero, superwoman, woman, wonder, wonder woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Instagram this month:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

25 shares on Twitch this month:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Live now on X:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Making waves on Reddit:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Making waves on X:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨