Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,313

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Going bananas on Slack:

“You’re crazy.” God forbid I keep my family traits alive.

Going viral on Messenger:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Just landed via Facebook:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Going viral on Messenger:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Trending via Reddit:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Breaking via Pinterest:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Making waves on Facebook:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

3 weeks ago

Playful quote about cozy, unconventional sleeping habits in relationships.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your bed becomes a personal version of Tetris! 🛏️😴😂

across, bed, couple, current, diagonal, diagonally, humor, laziness, position, relationship, sleep, sleep position, sleeping, status

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

90 shares on X this month:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

35 shares on Discord this month:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

Just took off my daytime sweatpants and put on my nighttime sweatpants.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Breaking via Reddit:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

Trending via Telegram:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Spotted on Messenger:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Making waves on Instagram:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Just shared via Twitch:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Seen just now on Twitch:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Keep the laugh going 😂

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨