Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's dishing out compliments with a side of sarcasm! 🔥❄️ Maybe next time, less microwave, more microwaveable hearts! 😂 #ColdAsIce #HotStuff"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

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2 months ago

acorn, acorns, autumn, collection, creature, creatures, humor, nature, playfulness, squirrel, squirrels, toddler, types
If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

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2 months ago

exaggeration, hemisphere, humor, joke, live, loud, me, same, sneeze, sound
Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

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2 months ago

call, everything, excuse, humor, i, missed, missed call, phone, procrastination, ring, ringing, ringing phone, sorry
Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

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2 months ago

colleagues, conversation, drop, humor, office, proof, prove, questions, stupid, stupidity, welcome, workplace, wrong
My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

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5 months ago

atonement, bill, cell, cell phone bill, consciousness, creating, dad, family, humor, monthly, original, original sin, pay, phone, responsibility, sin
I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

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2 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on TikTok this month:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

82 shares on Discord this month:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

95 shares on X this month:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

92 shares on Slack this month:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Trending via YouTube:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Shared recently on Slack:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Making waves on YouTube:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨