Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,466

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Spotted on YouTube:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Trending via Reddit:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

Spotted on X:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Going viral on X:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Trending via Twitch:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Making waves on X:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you show up unannounced, my window becomes the new guest room 🚪👀😂

home, house, humor, i, privacy, stare, unannounced, unannounced visitor, visitor, warning, window

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

0

3 weeks ago

before, bloopers, credits, end, end credits, film, films, horror, horror film, movie, relax, should, sleep, sleeping, viewer
If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

0

2 months ago

advice, clothes, experience, food, humor, hungry, me, naked, shopping, should, trust
You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, cost, dental, dental visit, dentist, expenses, fear, humor, know, mature, maturity, pain, visit
Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

0

2 months ago

beauty, chin, chin filler, cosmetic, everyone, filler, humor, lip, lip filler, real, villain
I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

0

2 months ago

body, body count, count, curiosity, dating, humor, i, remark, self-description, spirit, witty, witty remark
Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

0

2 months ago

big, city, complaining, complaint, friend, here, horse, humor, i, minute, rail, replacement, sit, Subway, transportation, wait, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

49 shares on X this month:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Going viral on X:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Trending via Messenger:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Shared recently on Slack:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Making waves on X:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Going bananas on Discord:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨