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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

The future is buffering.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Just shared via X:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Trending via YouTube:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Trending via Pinterest:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Making waves on Reddit:

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sunday mornings are a breeze… until the mini humans launch their chaotic surprise party! 🎉👶🎈

easy, family, family life, humor, kids, life, morning, parenting, people, relaxation, say, sleep, something, Sunday, Sunday morning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

0

2 months ago

away, connection, distance, energy, feel, humor, i, planets, vibe
I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

0

2 months ago

bad, humor, i, irony, much, offer, self-deprecation, still
Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

0

2 months ago

car, commute, conversation, hilarious, humor, just, me, morning, myself, self, talking
Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

0

2 months ago

bar, bulb, change, funny moment, humor, i, joke, life, light, light bulb, moment, punchline, today
Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

0

2 months ago

computer, duct, duct tape, humor, life, problems, reboot, rest, solution, tape
Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

0

2 months ago

attention, communication, faster, humor, interaction, irony, media, nobody, relationship, social, social media, someone, story, talk, views

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Threads this month:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

90 shares on Slack this month:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

66 shares on Twitch this month:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

48 shares on X this month:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨