Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

57 shares on Discord this month:

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

25 shares on Slack this month:

Running from your problems is cardio.

28 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.