Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,859

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Trending via Messenger:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Just landed via WeChat:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Going viral on Facebook:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Going bananas on TikTok:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Shared recently on X:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That's some next-level ghost-busting, where you vanish first! 👻✌️✨

avoid, awkward, awkward situation, event, ever, ghost, ghosting, interaction, past, situation, social, social interaction

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

0

2 months ago

adventure, dog, expectation, ghost, ghosts, humor, ID, life, mystery, point, solving, thought, unmasking, van
The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

0

2 months ago

baby, embarrassing, embarrassment, fool, front, funny moment, laugh, laughter, moment, self-deprecation, thing, world, yourself
Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

0

2 months ago

boom, boom shakalaka, expression, humor, nobody, nostalgia, phrase, say, shakalaka, used
Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

0

2 months ago

book, dictionary, humor, literature, reading, remix
You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

0

2 months ago

cry, crypto, finance, humor, investment, joke, pun, spell, wordplay
Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

0

2 months ago

always, benefit, brain, brains, brainwashing, horrible, terrible, wash

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Breaking via YouTube:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Spotted on Telegram:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Breaking via Slack:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Making waves on Facebook:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨