Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,815

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Freshly posted on X:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Seen just now on Discord:

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Just landed via Reddit:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Just landed via Telegram:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Going bananas on Threads:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Currently feeling like the celery's sidekick on a wing night! 🥬😅 #ForeverSingleSideDish

boo, celery, food, getting, hot, hot wing, humor, jealousy, plate, relationship, treated, wing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

0

2 months ago

commitment, distance, endurance, humor, humor quote, i, miles, song, walk, walking
I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

0

2 months ago

A.I., AI, boyfriend, dating, humor, i, relationship, sorry, technology
Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

0

2 months ago

another, dating, flirtation, humor, i, link, love, me, music, post, relationship, Spotify
The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

0

2 months ago

comedy, envelopes, finance, humor, IRS, needs, paperwork, special, ta, trouble
I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

0

2 months ago

achievement, fact, fastest, humor, i, just, lazy, life, recovering, self-deprecation, sperm, still, used
Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

0

2 months ago

automotive, car, cars, classic, classic car, embarrassment, humor, muscle, muscle car, Mustang, name, nostalgia, remember

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

I had too much to think last night.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

93 shares on Discord this month:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

64 shares on X this month:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Shared recently on Telegram:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Spotted on YouTube:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Just landed via YouTube:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Shared recently on YouTube:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Just shared via Messenger:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Just landed via Threads:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Making waves on Instagram:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨