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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,880

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Just shared via Telegram:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Going viral on Threads:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Just shared via Reddit:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Just landed via Threads:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Seen just now on WeChat:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to break into the energy pyramid scheme: Step 1, invest in a nap. Step 2, repeat. 💤💪😆"

activity, energy, exercise, fun, fun activity, humor, me, motivation, need, pyramid, pyramid scheme, scheme, sounds

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

0

2 months ago

adventure, gap, humor, i, job, lost, resume, sailing, sea
You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

0

4 months ago

billionaire, closer, commentary, ever, humor, proximity, social, social commentary, street
When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

0

4 months ago

coffee, coffee cup, cup, daily, daily life, dishwasher, humor, just, life, open, parent, routine, skincare, skincare routine, steam
My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

0

2 weeks ago

AI, angel, app, apps, bad, bad luck, betting, distraction, generative, generative AI, guardian, guardian angel, happen, humor, letting, luck, me, sports, sports betting, technology, things, why
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

0

2 months ago

advice, balance, brain, caution, decision, decision making, follow, heart, humor, making, take, wisdom
A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

0

2 months ago

cultural, dialect, every, humor, people, regional, sarcasm, southern, Southern humor, time, type, y’all

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

68 shares on Slack this month:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Shared recently on Telegram:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Going viral on Telegram:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Spotted on Facebook:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Making waves on TikTok:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Making waves on Slack:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Spotted on Threads:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨