Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,761

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Going viral on Telegram:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Trending via Snapchat:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Live now on Twitch:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Spotted on Instagram:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Going viral on Slack:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Trending via Instagram:

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

First responders? You mean reply guys?

4 weeks ago

Witty text humorously comparing first responders to reply guys, playful and clever in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"First responders? More like 'reply guys,' always coming in hot with their unsolicited advice and opinions! 🚑💬 #FunnyButTrue"

comedy, first responder, guy, guys, humor, interaction, mean, media, online, online interaction, reply, reply guy, responder, sarcasm, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

75 shares on Slack this month:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

96 shares on Reddit this month:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

96 shares on X this month:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

Spotted on Instagram:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Going viral on Discord:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Just shared via X:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Keep the laugh going 😂

Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨