Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.
  • First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.
  • Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.
  • I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.
  • I need to start hiding my money from myself.
  • If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.