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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Live now on Twitch:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Making waves on Discord:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Just landed via Facebook:

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

3 weeks ago

Witty text highlighting the humorous risks of bored flirting with playful tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a "bore-ting" combination! 😂😅 Who knew boredom could be so risky? 🙈

bored, boredom, dating, flirting, humor, interaction, situation, situations, social, social interaction, unwanted, unwanted situation

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30 shares on YouTube this month:

Everything feels like thinking the stripper actually likes you.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Just shared via Twitch:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Just landed via Reddit:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Breaking via Messenger:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Seen just now on Threads:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Seen just now on Threads:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Making waves on TikTok:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Keep the laugh going 😂

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨