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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,847

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Trending via Threads:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Spotted on Messenger:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Just shared via Telegram:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Spotted on Messenger:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like a "bore-ting" combination! 😂😅 Who knew boredom could be so risky? 🙈

bored, boredom, dating, flirting, humor, interaction, situation, situations, social, social interaction, unwanted, unwanted situation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

1 month ago

bro, entertainment, foreign, foreign language, frustration, humor, language, Netflix, speaking, streaming, subtitles, translate
People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

1 month ago

20s, 30s, adventure, age, early, early 30s, emotional, emotional support, humor, Japan, late, late 20s, people, support, travel, trip
So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

1 month ago

absurdity, anything, cat, chores, disposal, else, garbage, humor, laundry, myself, shower, showered
I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

1 month ago

animal, humor, i, irony, me, nature, neighborhood, perspective, think, thoughts, wild, wild animal, worry
Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

1 month ago

battery, dependency, devices, humor, leave, loneliness, me, own, self-reliance, technology
Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

2 months ago

appointment, doctor, early, hour, humor, irony, late, never, should, tell, time, waiting

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Live now on Messenger:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Just landed via Slack:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Going bananas on Discord:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

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Activity Log ✨

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

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Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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