Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,551

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Trending via Discord:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Trending via TikTok:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Seen just now on Slack:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Trending via WeChat:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Seen just now on Slack:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Just landed via Messenger:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your brain insists on being your heart's chaperone 😄🧠❤️

advice, balance, brain, caution, decision, decision making, follow, heart, humor, making, take, wisdom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

2 months ago

california, driving, dude, feel, gesture, humor, making, me, memory, nostalgia, nostalgic, rage, road, road rage, rude, rude gesture, shout, thank, traffic
I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

2 months ago

care, dog, dog groomer, experience, funny observation, groom, groomer, grooming, grooming experience, haircut, i, just, myself, observation, own, pet, pet care, stylist, understand
The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

3 months ago

humor, intimacy, Jaws, movie, relationship, sex, soundtrack, theme
I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

2 months ago

advice, aunty, child, family, focus, hear, humor, i, know, needs, own, parenting
Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

2 months ago

aunt, communication, cousin, died, family, gossip, humorous, humorous observation, husband, just, know, mom, neighbor, neighbors, observation, should, thought
Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

3 months ago

family, fun, humor, kids, listening, parenting, shoutout

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Reddit this month:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

36 shares on Discord this month:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Going viral on Instagram:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Going viral on Slack:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Going viral on Instagram:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Spotted on Facebook:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Spotted on Reddit:

Talents: eating!

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨