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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,313

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Trending via WeChat:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Seen just now on Slack:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Making waves on Threads:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Going viral on Reddit:

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

Just shared via Slack:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Live now on Slack:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Living that night owl life, dreaming of sleeping in earlier! 🌜🛌😴"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

2 months ago

craving, eating, food, humor, i, indulgence, just, know, snack
I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

2 months ago

annoyance, anxiety, awkwardness, bonfire, constant, douchebag, fear, going, guitar, humor, i, live, outdoor, party, show, social, social anxiety
I can feel your energy from two planets away.

2 months ago

away, connection, distance, energy, feel, humor, i, planets, vibe
I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

2 months ago

accessory, carry, cute, cute purse, everyday, everyday carry, everywhere, fashion, girl, hoard, humor, i, item, love, need, never, objects, personal, personal item, purse, sad, say, tiny, tiny purse
It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

2 months ago

honesty, humor, just, relationship, say, things, think
I put the hot in psychotic.

3 months ago

confidence, hot, humor, i, personality, psychotic, put, self-deprecation, wit

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Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Threads this month:

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

100 shares on Threads this month:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Are you gonna meow for me or what, bro?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Sorry, I’m late. I was pumping up the jam.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

The people who “don’t have time” and the people who “always find time” have the same amount of time.

Shared recently on Discord:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Making waves on Facebook:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Live now on Instagram:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Making waves on Slack:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Trending via Discord:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Making waves on Telegram:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Going viral on YouTube:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

I put the hot in psychotic.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨