Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Just shared via Snapchat:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Just shared via Facebook:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Shared recently on X:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Freshly posted on X:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Spreading quickly via X:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Now that's what I call a 'heavy' meal! 😂🍕🚜"

appetite, big, craving, food, forget, forklift, fun, humor, i, joke, joke about food, mini, needs, oversized, pizza, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

0

2 months ago

grass, humor, maybe, me, nature, once, personification, sarcasm, should, touch, well, whimsy
I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

0

2 months ago

actually, body, body image, clothing, comfort, exaggeration, fashion, fitting, humor, i, image, much, oversized, oversized T-shirt, size, t-shirt, wear
Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, commuting, conversation, humor, i, me, moment, next, nothing, person, sarcasm, saying, thanks, train, turning
I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

0

2 months ago

aging, alarm, condition, doctor, humor, i, irreversible, life, terminal, want
If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

0

2 months ago

attempt, bad, embarrassing, embarrassment, failure, humor, motivation, success
Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

0

2 months ago

creativity, engagement, give, humor, husky, intelligence, interesting, interesting problem, people, problem, smart, smart people, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t study, get slutty!

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

70 shares on X this month:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

67 shares on Discord this month:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Just landed via Instagram:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Just landed via Reddit:

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

Just shared via Telegram:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Going viral on YouTube:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Just landed via Instagram:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Just landed via Threads:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨