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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,618

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Breaking via Slack:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Just shared via Pinterest:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Just landed via Threads:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Breaking via Instagram:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Funny 28 Years Later quotes

New funny 28 Years Later quotes 👇

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

0

3 days ago

28, 28 Years Later, Brit, culture, hell, humor, just, later, live, normal, reaction, rest, thing, while, world, year’s

Fresh post – no country stats yet.

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All funny 28 Years Later quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Slack this month:

I suppose someone has to do all the consuming and obeying.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

82 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Going bananas on Threads:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Shared recently on Instagram:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Going viral on Snapchat:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Shared recently on Slack:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Live now on Slack:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Just landed via Telegram:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Making waves on Messenger:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny 28 Years Later quotes

New funny 28 Years Later quotes 👇

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

All funny 28 Years Later quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨