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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1885 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,047

Funny Quotes Topics

14,835

Funny Quotes Images

12,047

Updated

40 seconds ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Breaking via Twitch:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Making waves on Slack:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Live now on Snapchat:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Just shared via Reddit:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Just landed via Messenger:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Shared recently on Messenger:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Home » Funny 40-year-old Quotes

Funny 40-year-old quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1885 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,047

Funny Quotes Topics

14,835

Funny Quotes Images

12,047

Updated

40 seconds ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Spotted on Twitch:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Just shared via WeChat:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Spotted on X:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Trending via TikTok:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Going viral on X:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

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