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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1834 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,996

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,996

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Just landed via WeChat:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better “off day” than Friday.

Shared recently on Slack:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Reported on LinkedIn:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Just shared via Facebook:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Spotted on Messenger:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Going viral on Telegram:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

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Funny age 35 quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1834 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,996

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,996

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end and tomorrow to start.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Reported on Telegram:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Making waves on Instagram:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Spotted on TikTok:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Reported on YouTube:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Just shared via Reddit:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

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