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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Seen just now on Discord:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Going viral on Threads:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Spotted on Threads:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Just landed via Threads:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Breaking via Slack:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Spotted on Reddit:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Going viral on Instagram:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Live now on Telegram:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

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Funny agriculture quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Breaking via Telegram:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Freshly posted on X:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Just shared via YouTube:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Reported on Twitch:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Shared recently on Slack:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Freshly posted on X:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Trending via Snapchat:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Going viral on Instagram:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

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