Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Just landed via Threads:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Spotted on Discord:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Going viral on WeChat:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Going viral on X:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Making waves on X:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Making waves on Slack:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Funny agriculture quotes

Funny agriculture quotes bring a fresh twist to farm life 🌾🐄, turning dirt and crops into laughs and smiles 😂🚜. Whether you’re a seasoned farmer or just love country vibes, these witty sayings will have you chuckling through planting and harvest season 🌻🌽. Get ready to sow some humor and reap a bumper crop of giggles! 🌱😄

New funny agriculture quotes 👇

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

1 month ago

agriculture, burger, cow, doing, food, forever, humor, irony, meat, nature, plant, plants, turning, wait
Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

1 month ago

agriculture, booming, bot, bot farm, dying, farm, farming, humor, industry, technology

All funny agriculture quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on X this month:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Bok Choy is a dope name for a vegetable.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,472

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

People who read and research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Trending via X:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Shared recently on Discord:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Going viral on Discord:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Making waves on Telegram:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Just landed via Messenger:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Going bananas on Slack:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Trending via Telegram:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Trending via Twitch:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

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