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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2450 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,612

Funny Quotes Topics

15,284

Funny Quotes Images

12,612

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Just shared via X:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Spotted on Pinterest:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Seen just now on WeChat:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Live now on Pinterest:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2450 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,612

Funny Quotes Topics

15,284

Funny Quotes Images

12,612

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Spotted on Discord:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Live now on LinkedIn:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

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