Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Spotted on Telegram:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Just shared via X:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Trending via WeChat:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Funny armor quotes

Funny armor quotes 🛡️ bring a hilarious twist to the serious world of knights and battles ⚔️. Whether you’re a history buff or just love a good chuckle 😂, these witty lines will have you laughing behind your shield. Perfect for sparking fun conversations or adding some medieval humor to your day! Ready to suit up with a smile? Let’s dive into the lighter side of armor! 😄✨

New funny armor quotes 👇

All funny armor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Messenger this month:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

82 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

77 shares on Slack this month:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

20 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,435

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Making waves on TikTok:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Just landed via Pinterest:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Going bananas on Reddit:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Spotted on Slack:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

Going viral on TikTok:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Spotted on Twitch:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Shared recently on Threads:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

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