Funny bank robbery quotes

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.