Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Just landed via YouTube:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Seen just now on Threads:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Trending via Threads:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Just landed via X:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Breaking via Instagram:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Trending via Twitch:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Making waves on Discord:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Funny Bible lesson quotes

New funny Bible lesson quotes 👇

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

0

2 months ago

bible, Bible lesson, Bible name, giving, humor, kid, kids, last, lesson, lessons, me, Moses, name, names, night, robbery, stop, tried

Someone from 🇩🇰 has recently bookmarked this quote.

111 shares on Threads this month.

All funny Bible lesson quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

100 shares on YouTube this month:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

46 shares on Threads this month:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

55 shares on X this month:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

85 shares on X this month:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

36 shares on Discord this month:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Just landed via Messenger:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Trending via Messenger:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Just landed via Twitch:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Trending via Instagram:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Spotted on Pinterest:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Spotted on Twitch:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny Bible lesson quotes

New funny Bible lesson quotes 👇

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

All funny Bible lesson quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨