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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2247 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,409

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,409

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Trending via Threads:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Reported on Messenger:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Breaking via YouTube:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Trending via Instagram:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2247 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,409

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,409

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Going viral on Messenger:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Trending via Facebook:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Making waves on Snapchat:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Spotted on Reddit:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Making waves on Slack:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Making waves on Instagram:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

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