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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

60 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Just landed via Slack:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Spotted on X:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Broadcasted on X:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Just shared via Discord:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Making waves on Messenger:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

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Funny book pile quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

60 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Making waves on Twitch:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Seen just now on Twitch:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Breaking via WeChat:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Live now on Pinterest:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Freshly posted on Slack:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

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